Be the ant

I'm here for the sensitive ones. The idealistic ones who pick their careers or build their businesses based on the difference they want to make in the world. The ones who want to succeed, to lead, to build a good life for themselves and their loved ones.

But they go to sleep at night feeling torn between the gut-wrenching urgency they feel to do even more to advance their work, and their whispers from their heart saying they'll regret not saving some time and energy for their loved ones...

But the heart is facing some steep adversaries. There's the seriously extractive culture. The gender thing — which makes it hard for women to stop giving. Years of conditionning to be a top performer. Plus a crucial organizational mission that I believed in fully... So the work keeps coming first and burnout creeps in.

I'm here for the ones that take on aspirations so big that they're not actually achievable by one person, or even by a group of committed people, and maybe not even in our lifetimes! So at the end of the day, the results never seem to match the effort they've put in and spirits sink lower.

I've had some deep chats with my 13 year old lately. He's starting to take in the magnitude of everything-everywhere-all-at-once looking dark.

"What can I do? What can any of us do??" he asks over an over, with urgency in his voice.

After much pondering (I mean, I've pondered this for 30+ years but this time, I need to find the truest and most empowering words I can think of for my child), I said...

"That's the wrong question, darling. You're looking to draw a direct line between your personal impact and the big solutions that the world needs. That's normal. We all want to do that.

But think of us more like ants. Say an ant colony is under attack or getting flooded. No single ant can solve the colony's existential threats.

But if each ant does its small job, signalling along the way that it sees the problem and is acting towards it, then all the ants hear the call and start moving in the same direction."

It's not the kind of glamourous narrative we want, conditionned as we are by this individualistic society so filled with stories of singular heroes saving the day.

But it's reality.

So I'm here for the folks who want to be the very best ant they can possibly be, but do it with eyes wide open, calm and courageous hearts, and without the burnout, please.

That takes not just boundaries. In this culture, it takes some serious deconditionning. Luckily that's what integrative changework and Wingwave EMDR coaching does best!

Your life sends a signal. Make it a microcosm of resilience, wisdom and truly luminous leadership.

Just don’t expect yourself to do it all, alone.